What to do ⬇️

Sometimes our kids seem to lose it over the smallest things, like what colour cup they drink from or suddenly deciding they don't want something they've asked for.

It's illogical to us (with our fully developed brains) but for kids it's one instance within a bunch of instances that's affecting their feelings and they don't know how to process them. Their emotional brain reacts and takes over quicker than the thinking part of their brain and they're crying or hitting out suddenly. Not because they're thinking that's the best thing to do - it's essentially the opposite of that. They're NOT REALLY THINKING.

The thinking part of the brain is going offline as the emotional brain takes over. You know that feeling - we all do - when we shout at our kids when we know we don't want to. Our emotional brains have taken over and we too are 'flipping our lids'.

It truly takes DEVELOPMENT and PRACTICE to regulate and help the thinking brain stay online in times of emotional distress. We need to be patient with ourselves and with our babies.

This hand figure and lid metaphor is adapted from Dr Dan Siegel's model of the brain. It helps us to understand what's happening when we're distressed and why we become more reactive and less reflective.

Share this video with a parent or educator to help them to understand why kids are losing it. The more we know, the more compassionate we're likely to be and the more regulated we can strive to be too.

Head to the Zazi Hub at zazi.co.nz and search 'behaviour' or 'regulation' to read more.

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Watch the full reel here