When swimming lessons go wrong...
My response ⬇️
When our kids feel dysregulated, out of control, the worst thing we can do is try to be more in control and push them further out of the comfort zone.
Here's how I responsed to our trickier swimming lesson.
1. I was ready to end the lesson as soon as she asked or if her behaviour showed me she was too uncomfortable. I knew she wouldn't learn anything at the class if she was upset so there's zero point in pushing through.
2. I trusted that she knew her body and what she was comfortable and didn't push her to do anything she wasn't ready for.
3. I remained encouraging, positive and matter-of-fact just as I am in her typical lessons, avoiding saying "It's ok" or over-responding to her fear. I was the one thing in the experience that remained the same / constant in all the change.
4. I advocated for her so that she wasn't forced to go further than she felt comfortable. Her body her rules.
5. When she refused to get dressed, I let her shower for longer than usual whilst I got dressed then held my boundary and took her into the changing room. I then waited as long as it took until she was calm and ready to put her clothes on without protesting. No rush or forcing her body to do anything.
We ALL have lessons with our kids that go wrong. I've for sure had wayyyyy worse than that and it can be SUPER embarrassing in public. It pays to remember that they're their own person and it's not our job to double down on controlling them to make the lesson happen - we CAN just stop and help them to feel comfortable. Speaking out loud can help yourself and other people see that you've got this "ah - you don't want to do that today. I hear you".
Remember - You've got this. Even when you look like a drowned rat like me today!
When our kids feel dysregulated, out of control, the worst thing we can do is try to be more in control and push them further out of the comfort zone.
Here's how I responsed to our trickier swimming lesson.
1. I was ready to end the lesson as soon as she asked or if her behaviour showed me she was too uncomfortable. I knew she wouldn't learn anything at the class if she was upset so there's zero point in pushing through.
2. I trusted that she knew her body and what she was comfortable and didn't push her to do anything she wasn't ready for.
3. I remained encouraging, positive and matter-of-fact just as I am in her typical lessons, avoiding saying "It's ok" or over-responding to her fear. I was the one thing in the experience that remained the same / constant in all the change.
4. I advocated for her so that she wasn't forced to go further than she felt comfortable. Her body her rules.
5. When she refused to get dressed, I let her shower for longer than usual whilst I got dressed then held my boundary and took her into the changing room. I then waited as long as it took until she was calm and ready to put her clothes on without protesting. No rush or forcing her body to do anything.
We ALL have lessons with our kids that go wrong. I've for sure had wayyyyy worse than that and it can be SUPER embarrassing in public. It pays to remember that they're their own person and it's not our job to double down on controlling them to make the lesson happen - we CAN just stop and help them to feel comfortable. Speaking out loud can help yourself and other people see that you've got this "ah - you don't want to do that today. I hear you".
Remember - You've got this. Even when you look like a drowned rat like me today!
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