Hear me out ⬇️

Kids have tantrums. They're developmentally appropriate - it's a big build up of feelings and emotions that they don't know how to process and it all comes bursting out.

Avoiding tantrums is ALWAYS the best strategy. This sounds ridiculous but prevention is the best way to come at any behavioural issue and it means we have to really know our kids: identify what they struggle with, what overwhelms them, what choices they like to make for themselves and what upsets them.

But with the best will in the world, the odd tantrum will happen and can feel really awful in the moment. Super triggering for parents. What has happened to my child?!

🌟the BEST way to support your child when they're in the throws of a tantrum is to be the CALM in their STORM. Calmness is soothing and soothing is what they need. You can't fight fire with fire. They will regulate quicker if you yourself are regulated (this is called co-regulation).

The thing is - when we talk a lot, our words add to the over stimulation. They're very stimulating in a moment where are kids need a calm and non-stimulating environment.
Furthermore - when in the tantrum-zone the part of our brains that process and create language are essentially shut down. They can't HEAR your reasoning for why the TV has to be turned off, let alone process the information. It's like talking to a brick wall. You're not going to talk your way out of a tantrum.

🔑INSTEAD of explaining and negotiating and reasoning, the key is to just be present and understanding. Keep talk to a minimum. Sit down, put your arms out for cuddles or just make your face look understanding and let them feel their feelings. Don't focus on stopping the tantrum, focus on riding it out with them. It's a release.

🤌AFTER they've come out the other side and things are calmer, that's the time to talk. Work out what happened, talk through what they could do next time, understand how you could have helped before it happened.

Feel free to ask questions in the comments.
Remember: you've got this.

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