The secret to staying calm ⬇️

It starts with remembering that your child having big feelings is totally normal. It's developmentally appropriate. They're not meant to act like adults and forcing them to be quiet by being stern or threatening isn't teaching them anything.

That said - it can be embarrassing, overwhelming and over stimulating when your child's is losing it. My child tantrummed and screamed for a full 9 minute walk home from the park yesterday. That felt like a full hour and probably looked and sounded like we'd abducted her.

We must remember that our children don't have a brain developed enough to be manipulative and it doesn't feel good for them to lose control. They don't want to do it. They're having a hard time, they're not giving us a hard time.

Knowing the 'script' of what you can say in that moment can be so helpful, especially in public. Said loudly and confidently enough, it shows you're managing it and can cope calmly, even if inside yours stressed and mortified. Often our kids just want to feel heard and understood. They're allowed those big feelings either way.

Our kids will calm down quicker if we are calm. We need to model calm for them to be able to copy calm.

If you as a child were told to be quiet or sent away to your room when you had big emotional outbursts/tantrums, you probably now as an adult bottle your feelings or withdraw from others when you're emotional. We're changing the narrative here for the next generation by teaching them that it's safe to feel their feelings and process them, without judgement. It's setting our kids up for success.

More posts and resources for dealing with big behaviours and emotions can be found here

You’ve got this.

Watch the full reel here